“One of the processes of your life is to constantly break down that inferiority, to constantly reaffirm that I Am Somebody.”
Town has a post-war feel. You are looking around to see who has survived? Who’s still in business? Wondering if you’ll ever see many of your favourite haunts again.
Every action comes with a risk assessment. I’ve wondered can you be over the limit from hand sanitizer?
The world massively feels as of it is spiralling once more. Some people leave their home like me – once more to explore simple places such as a gallery. While others risk losing their’s altogether as the rent is due. We see progress in democracy in a new spectrum of election. While others risk total loss of freedom for such ideals.
Nothing I do feels enough.
But without the core individual what hope is there? I bumped into someone today who reminded me why I left theatre. I’m always surprised when others know me after all this time. It was the show where I was so bulled by the stage manager I thought – I’m better than this. I can do more.
I often wonder now if I’d met the right people would it have been an outlet for my creation? My thoughts?
Because the biggest gift of the pandemic has been the arts streamed. All I wouldn’t normally get to experience. And I know clearer than ever that dance choreographers speak my lingo.
The irony as someone who can’t conquer their fears and self-consciousness – to dance. It’s where the trauma of school hides.
But both Alvin Ailey and Pina Bausch represent the core for me. They give the individual the form to express the inside. They want the unique. They know no two bodies have the same shape. The same way I know we all process the world differently. One size never fits alls.
Could you imagine if we were taught to swagger down the street with our unique voice? To not all learn to march to someone else’s shape?
I have many fears for the earth right now – but strangely I know the arts will rise from the ashes. There can’t ever be a world without people who see the need for the individual voice.
Naoisé 2nd July 2020